Welcome, Void Dweller
Click any poem to read the full text.
Amdram Roadman
puffer jacket tied round his waist
balaclava covering his face...
Life's Looming Sense of Infinity
the angry mancs said we're
gonna live forever...
Poetry's for Wankers
oi, poindexter, with your
poetry book in hand...
Brassic
i crawled under the sofa
on the promise of two pence...
Terracotta Terrorist
I'm a potted plant, wiht old worn soil
no worms in me just synthesis in toil...
A Circular Argument With Myself
shivering, lips quivering, pale skin
half asleep, still thinking, asking...
On Happiness
happiness is an empty vase
well adorned on the outside...
Advice Offered Under the Dim Light of a Pub
twiddling his fingers, shifting his eyes
he tells me about how...
Battery Mouth
electric pylon rammed down their throats
chew it slowly else...
Salt of the Sea
i am thirsty like the salt of the sea
let me unscrew your neck...
Ignorant Bastards
bald headed, red faced
ale drinking, small thinking, nation of pigs...
The Moscow Mule
the moscow mule trudges through the mud
torn up by tank shells ...
Bamboo Cover
when i was nine
my school had a book competition
who could write the best book...
Maggots for Poems
i got stuck cleaning maggots
instead of writing poetry
all the kettle water in the world...
Still Wanker
his father was a tool maker
and make a tool he did...
Spoons
table and menu
sticky and wet, time to leave?...
Bin Day
i put the bins out
for collection; the bin man...
Pathetic
i am a tornado when you scream
my mouth contorts into a gust of acid...
Words in my Mouth
i'm a beating heart
that my words wrap around like...
Speak Betterer
don’t say “arse”, say “bottom”
don’t say “pissed”, say “slightly perturbed”...
On Maslow
maslow's hierarchy of
needs is bollocks; i...
The Almighty Shopping List
this is the almighty shopping list.
5 grenade launchers...
Boys Will Be...
boys copying their dads
leads to girls crying in their mums laps...
Sunk
a ship with holes takes
a while to sink; sink it does...
Metaphors for Serious Shit
“Kulak, why don’t you use metaphors?”
Fuck me, I’ve heard that one before...